what do yo do when the one person you looked up to all your life turns ou to be as spitful and destroying as any enemy you've ever had. what do you do when you learn that theyve been slowly emotionaly abusing you into thinking your worthless. what do you do when you realize the reason you can never keep most of the people you trust for to long is because they whisper deciet in your ear and your trust starts to waver. what do you do when your stuck with that person for awhile longer. what do you do because i dont know what im supposed to do.

ok at the bottom of every entry thats a poem theres a song listed that im listening to they ussualy in a way go with the poem maybe not the reason why i wrote it but they do ussualy go with the poem so if you wan to listen to them while you read go ahead just a tip

title says it all

LET ME FILL YOU IN
these people just dont understand
they think being gay is a wonderland
and we have no problems in the world
and apparently we have no hearts
cause they sit there throwing insults
its not like you can choose who you like
so a guy likes a guy
or a girl likes a girl
does it realy matter in this world
we have enough problems
dont cause more
i like who i like
that doesnt make me a dyke
i personally believe that girls got the gear
and i know some queers
that make the cutest guy couples ive seen in years
but i know all of us have fears
and i know people jeer
and religous people call us queers
and faggots
which disgusts me to no end
cause theyre making girls and guys cry
and some of them just want to die
but this queer wont cry
cause your gana be the ones that die
and you can yell all the verses you want
cause i know the bible like the back of my hand
and ill bury your asses in the sand
we cant help who we love
and i still pray to god above
i dont know if hes real
but its nice to think someone hears
now let me give you one final warning
you better stop making girls and guys cry
cause im the more masculine of the lesbian side
and ill personally make sure you run and hide
cause no one hrts my friends
and gets away
and even if i dont get you then
cause im comforting them
like a real man
ill hunt you down
and make you pay
cause no ones ever gotten away


okay i wrote this after an asshole messed with a kid i know and i was already in a bad mood

made this to express myself since i can't at home

MY LIFE
hey im gay
and as some people say
it must be in our DNA
or our genes
well i know somethings in our jeans
but i dont think thats quite what they mean
i told my mom last year
but she wont believe that im queer
she keeps asking my oppinion on guys
an i sympathize
by saying yeah hes nice or he looks okay
but what i realy want
is a sweet girl
with brown hair and blue eyes
thats a favorite of mine
but i dont care about looks
i look more for whats on the inside
are they smart
do they like to talk
would they like to go for a walk
whats thier most favorite thing in the world
and i try i realy try
of course in the relationship i'm the guy
im the comforter of the two
the one that always lets the ladies first
ill pull out the chair and ill carry thier purse
but my mom wont have it
she doesnt understand that im the man
or that i even swing that way
its so frustrating to know
that she won't accept me
or even acknowladge that i dont like dudes
it ticks me off to no end
that i wouldnt be able to tell her i got a girlfriend
cause i know she wouldnt be happy for me
hell shed probably kick me out
but i realy dont care
cause id never take my girl there
with all the gay jokes my mom tells
but thats only when im around
and i laugh
but on the inside im crying
and i think im slowly dieing
because in reality i still cant be me
and with how this is going
and the hate that shes showing
im starting to think ill never be free...........

i wrote this for my sister and best friend who kept me safe and grounded as i did the same for her.

SISTERS TO SURVIVE
to survive is to live
to live you must have a reason
my reason is my friends
my freinds narrows down to my sister
my sister is my best friend
my best friend and me arent related
we arent related by blood
not by blood but similarities
these similarities are secrets
these secrets are well kept
they're well kept because we trust
we only trust a few
the few we trust dont know
they dont know because we trust eachother more
we trust eachother more because we are sisters
we are sisters and best friends
were best friends for a reason
my reason is to live
i live so i survive
i survive for my sister